If I were a zombie…

Obviously I have been off the writing wagon for a few weeks now. On the wagon? I never remember which, but as it stands, the wagon isn’t even a wagon, it’s a cat on my lap that I’m desperately trying not to disturb. So, to get back in the swing of things, I plan to do some daily one-liners based on random scenarios I set at the beginning of each week. Well, since it’s Wednesday and I never seem to think of these things in opportune timeframes, I guess the scenarios will be announced every Wednesday. I love using the word “announced” as if my readers were more than just my mom and my aunt (hi, Susan).

This week’s scenario: If I were a zombie (because for some reason zombies are a hot thing right now. Last year it was vampires. I expect next year it will be crab people).

If I were a zombie…I’d still refuse to pay department store prices.