I Don’t Wana

A long list of easy things that I HAVE to do and can’t bring myself to:

-go to the DMV to update my last name on my DL…I’m a Lauffer now, but the DMV is still a hell-scape!

-contact my credit card companies to do the same…usually I avoid them

-mail out remaining thank you cards from my wedding 6 months ago…I’m an ass, I know, but they are written and sealed, and the gratitude is still swarming in my heart, but I need stamps and I hate the post office…another hellish nightmare full of flickering fluorescent bulbs and bad haircuts

-mail out wedding gifts to two of my friends from high school…again, the post office…I think it makes most of its money off of twenty-somethings getting married…my summer will likely be spent in line there for this very reason

-fill up my coffee cup…this one may actually happen

-take my cats to the vet for a check up…Miles has a bunky eye that needs to be looked at by a professional rather than swabbed at and fretted over by his terrible caretakers and if I’m going to torture one of them with a trip to the vet, I may as well torture both. Sorry, Lu.

-go grocery shopping…but that entails picking out something to wear to Whole Foods that doesn’t make me look like a peasant…everyone in there wears yoga pants that cost more than my car

-submit some poetry…because I tell people I’m a poet and I need some publications to back that up

-read some poetry…I’m running a contest for a local lit mag and the submissions have surged and the stack just reminds me that I am not submitting so instead I eat sandwiches…how many is too many sandwiches in one day?

-go for a run…ha! See wardrobe excuse for grocery shopping and sandwich response above

-take some jackets to the dry cleaners…I have literally never done this in my adult life and so I’m embarrassed and wholly intimidated by the starch options

-take some packing peanuts to UPS…Ben’s mom mailed us an antique lamp for Christmas and thus 2 tons of pink packing peanuts came with it…I think the peanuts complement the lamp in our living room nicely…Ben does not agree

-clean out my car…but it’s parked at the bottom of 18 steps from my front door which is like 5 steps from my couch so that’s like, 23 steps we’re talking about

-end this list

BOOM

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